


One Wish

by Cloudy_Serendipity



Series: Muscle Memory [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: April Fools' Day, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Camaraderie, Gen, Mild Language, POV Bucky Barnes, POV First Person, POV Male Character, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Revenge, Self-Reflection, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, alter ego, generous Tony stark, i love it when a plan comes together, past trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-06-02 04:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19434247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudy_Serendipity/pseuds/Cloudy_Serendipity
Summary: A failed prank by Natasha brings attention to a long standing challenge issued Tony Stark; a successfully April Fools Day prank on the man himself would be rewarded with one granted wish.As the team plot it becomes increasingly obvious that  getting one over on Tony Stark isn't as easy as you might hope.Bucky is unsure but can't seem to get the idea out of his head.  If he had one wish, what would he do with it?  One thing is for sure, with Bucky and Tony's history, and that Bucky is still very reclusive, no one is going to expect any big plans for shenanigans from him.





	1. Challenge Accepted

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Civil War (as is the rest of the series), Bucky is starting to get the hang of life after HYDRA and is learning who he is all over again. There is a fair bit of internal reflection throughout and hopefully some fun.
> 
> Bucky's future love interest, Dr Veronica Edwards, is only mentioned in passing so there's no smut or angst in this one.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Wednesday night at the compound was movie night, and the resident team was in the theatre lounge. Everyone except me and Nat, who was working late in the computer lab on a project for the eye patch.

I didn’t feel sociable but at the same time I didn’t want to be alone. This new juxtaposition was symptom of my most recent efforts to open up, fit in, be normal. If normal was ever going to be something I achieved for myself.

I _was_ technically alone but to be in a communal space, just existing where people could be found, made me feel more at ease tonight. It wasn’t always like this; my needs varied.

It was ten to midnight and the communal lounge at Avenger’s central, as I called it, was quiet. The blackness behind the full-length windows was like an inky velvet that soothed my nerves and made me feel more comfortable. I couldn’t handle the wide open spaces that were revealed by the daylight, but the enclosed and windowless suite I slept in was too much. Hence why I declined to join the others in the small theatre lounge.

The movie of the night was a horror; The Conjuring 2. I’d seen enough horror in my life, and while that was real and the movie was not, I would have preferred something a little lighter, maybe a rom com or something slapstick. Who knew I’d be drawn to an angsty story about a guy who found the girl of his dreams in the most unlikely place, or a woman who finally found a man who treated her right after enduring some kind of emotional trauma?

If someone had have told 40’s Bucky that in the future he’d be less interested in stories about military victories and fights about good versus evil than in lost animals looking for home or a mushy love story, I was pretty sure he’d laugh and say ‘get the hell outta here’.

I smiled ruefully at the memory of a man who I no longer was but who had helped shape my life now because somehow, after all that HYRDA did to me, I was able to resolve the two and draw parts of my past self into my present. The James Buchannan Barnes I was now was a patchwork of all the men I had been, from the Bucky that Steve knew and cared for, to the various version of The Winter Soldier and the lost soul I’d been when Zimo had framed me for the UN bombing in Vienna.

I lifted the book that was resting in my loosened grip, my wrist had relaxed when my mind had wandered. _Northern Lights._ It was a book that Veronica had given Steve last Christmas, that he lent to me today.

We weren’t exactly on speaking terms, Veronica and I, certainly not enough to book swap; short exchanged greetings were as far as we went. I still kept my distance somewhat, but she had been trying to help me more with the arm since I had apologised to her for my harsh treatment of her and the time I’d… We’d fought, during a combat assessment.

I sighed. The memory of her bruises still fresh in my mind, weeks later.

_The book._

Yes, the book. It was a teen novel, but the depth of the characters and the bonds they formed was poignant. The main character, Lyra, had fought back against the status quo, struggling to keep the parts of herself whole. Her journey was epic, and not unlike my own, even if hers was a destiny and mine was just something terrible that had happened. Losing sight of who you were, losing friends and family, and giving up everything you knew. Becoming unsure of your place in the world now that everything had changed around you, but all the time fighting something you didn’t understand and knowing beyond any shadow of a doubt that you just had to keep fighting. Lyra Silvertongue; Bucky Silver-arm.

I almost laughed at myself.

I didn’t get much further into the book when movement caught my attention. Quick quiet steps followed by a loud boom had me rolling reflexively on the ground, flipping the large dining table to use as a shield.

Painfully alert, adrenaline peaked, I listened for the threat.

After the boom there were footsteps and someone jumped behind cover beside me. It was Natasha.

“Hey.” She said coolly.

Confused though I was, I couldn’t mistake the smirk on her lips.

“What’s happening?” I whispered, still trying to listen as more footfalls became louder, coming our way from the theatre area.

“Oh, nothing.” She said, coy and sarcastic. “Just a pre-emptive strike on a personal challenge.”

The voices I heard were that of the team; Steve, Sam, Wanda, Vision, Clint, Rhodey and Tony. It was all a jumble which grew calmer as they emerged from the theatre and filtered into the communal lounge.

I glanced over the table to see no enemies, only my friends looking a mixture of irate and amused. Friends. Were they? Was I _friend_ to them? I supposed it didn’t matter if it was a little one-sided or not. How I felt about them was a kinship like the one I had in the Howling Commandos, camaraderie, loyalty, brotherhood.

“What the hell?” Rhodey stopped when he saw the mess of table and chairs.

I stood looking sheepish, I’m sure.

“This was you?” Steve looked both surprised and disappointed.

“Yeah, I guess I heard the bang and panicked.” I shrugged, starting to pick up the chairs.

“With the spray cans?” Steve thumbed behind him to the carnage of the broken down theatre door and the frustrated Tony Stark who was approaching.

What the hell was this?

“I mean it wasn’t bad, as far as pranks go. But maybe next time paint the tins a….” Tony came to a halt beside Steve. “What’s happened to my table?”

“That was my bad.” I rubbed the back of my neck as Tony’s face got stern.

In his hand were three cans of febreeze which had the triggers tied down with cable ties, one of them was still hissing lightly.

A chuckle from behind me clued me in to what had happened; Nat and tear gas prank sprang to mind.

“Hello, boys!” Nat stood wearing a smoulderingly smug smile.

“You!?” Tony exasperated. “I have to say I’m disappointed.” He shook his head theatrically. “You couldn’t even wait until morning?”

“What can I say, I’m proactive.” Nat shrugged; her thinly veiled amusement was like fuel to the fire. “You kind of brought this on yourself.”

Steve helped me right the table. I’d used the strength of the prosthetic arm, _my metal arm_ , to flip the long and heavy table but it took the two of us to safely put it back without damaging it further.

“What am I running here? A doss house for delinquents and vandals? First Captain Blunder here totals the theatre door and then Fist of Victory smashes up Pepper’s fourth favourite dinner table.” Tony tossed the empty aerosols in the trash can before rounding on Nat and me. “This comes out of _your_ wages.”

“I don’t get wages.” I said flatly as Tony turned to leave.

He stopped.

“And this…” He circled his hand in the air, indicating the mess of furniture, “this is why you don’t.”

Then he was gone, sauntering out of the lounge with more sass in his walk than a Drag Queen who had just been told her hair do is more of a hair don’t.

“I guess that means I don’t get my April Fool wish?” Nat called after him.

There was no reply, only a ‘talk to the hand’ gesture as Tony disappeared from sight.

Once the lounge was put back to its former state, mostly, the team hung around with the exception of Colonel Rhodes, Wanda and Vision. Talk turned easily to Tony’s April Fools challenge.

Issued a few years ago when The Avengers were still a new entity on the global stage, Tony’s challenge was simple: If anyone could actually get an April Fools prank over on him then he would grant them one wish. Obviously killing people and giving away his fortune were out of the question, but the promised wish was tantalising enough for Natasha to keep at it year after year. I asked her what she’d wish for but she remained silent on the subject.

“So, let me get this straight.” Sam was very interested in this new opportunity to amuse himself at the Stark’s expense. “All I have to do is get him to fall for a prank and he’ll give me any one thing I ask for?”

“That’s about the size of it, yeah.” Steve clasped his hands together atop the table.

“So I can drive one of his rare cars, or have him make me my own iron suit?” Sam’s eyes lit up.

“How do you think Rhodey got War Machine?” Clint interjected.

“Not a whole bunch of hard work and ass-kissin’ after all?” Sam was elated. “There’s hope for me yet!”

“We could certainly use another Iron Douche right about now.” I jibed.

“You think you can make a better wish, then go for it.” Sam challenged. “You’d probably wish for a life-time supply of Jojo bows for your man-bun, or give your wish to Nat.”

“What the fuck is a Jojo bow?” I scoffed, glossing over the fact that I would happily give my wish to Natasha if I had one.

If she wanted it bad enough to keep trying every year then she deserved it more than I did. I had no idea what I would try to prank Tony with or even how I’d go about it. He pretty much hated me after what I, _he_ , did to his folks; any prank I pulled would just come across as vindictive.

“Whatever man, I know you got like ten of them in your Bucky beauty kit.” Sam dismissed with a wave. “Just look at you. All smouldering eyes and good hair and shit.” He turned to stalk off to the open-plan kitchen muttering a hood humoured ‘ _disgusting’_ as he went to the fridge for beers.

“I hate you.” I groaned, mortified.

Sam, Steve, Nat, Clint and I sat around the repositioned table with a couple of beers plotting to get one over on Tony. I was clueless for ideas but I had stealth on my side so I volunteered my services to anyone who needed it, choosing to be an instrument rather than the driving force of a plan.

“I tried that last year.” Nat said, tipping the bottle to her lips. “Turns out he’s particularly attuned to the smell of Oreos so he saw the toothpaste filling coming a mile off.”

“Tony does like his treats.” Steve chuckled, rolling his bottle between his palms.

“Treats, cookies, candy, peanuts, collecting the souls of the damned.” Clint said deadpan.

“Jesus that took a turn down the dark highway pretty fast.” I laughed.

“So what’s already been tried before?” Sam might as well have gotten out a notepad at this point, he was so invested in this challenge.

“Well, last year I did the toothpaste Oreo thing. The year before that I had Pepper replace the cream in his deodorant stick with philly cheese.”

“That’s fucked up!” Sam was snickering. “How did he see that coming?”

“I have no idea.” She sighed. “Apparently he isn’t as distracted by his own genius as I thought he was.”

“Alright, what else?” Sam pushed the discussion, leaning back in his chair.

“Clint put saran wrap on the toilet nearest the lab that first year.”

“He see it?”

“Nahhhh.” Clint smirked. “Got Banner good though.”

“Poor Bruce.” Nat was smirking at the memory. “That air horn I taped under the chair in Tony’s lab was another one that Bruce sprung early. We thought we’d have to test VERONICA on him right there and then.” She was laughing softly.

“Veronica?” Suddenly I was interested. What about Veronica? Was she enhanced after all?

“VERONICA is a mobile unit deployed from a space satellite, designed by Tony, Banner and Vee – Dr Edwards.” Steve added at the end for my benefit no doubt. “Its purpose is as an emergency response to a Hulk rampage, Hulkbuster suit, electrified containment shell, other miscellaneous gadgets.”

“Tony named it VERONICA after Vee who generated most of the ideas for the project.” Nat filled in, answering the last question that floated through my mind.

“Makes sense.” I nodded. “So did Banner fully turn?”

“Almost.” Nat smirked again. She had a way with him, they were each other’s soft spot. “He got a little green around the gills, _but_ I had a handle on it.”

I was pretty sure that was her way of saying that she fucked him silly to snap him out of it. Each to their own. Banner was a brilliant guy and Natasha was an amazing woman, they worked on so many levels.

“Alright, next!” Sam was a slave driver. “I need more intel, people. C’mon!”

It was pushing 2am and I was ready for my bed. Eyes gritty and yawning every other minute, I made my excuses to the group and headed to my room. As I left Clint was continuing to regale Sam with tales of past prank fails.

“One year, Thor switched Tony’s fro-yo with mayo. I thought for sure he’d fall for it but the bastard got the tub out of the freezer and spread the stuff on his BLT sandwich right in front of us. Smug sonofabitch.”

It seemed like Stark had some kind of sixth sense for this kind of tomfoolery. Maybe it was because he knew his team so well that he could read them. Maybe he was über paranoid and checked every last detail, even right down to how his fro-yo smelled.

Maybe it wasn’t such an off-the-wall idea to try. I was the newest addition to the team, mostly kept to myself, shied away from offending anyone. Plus, Tony hated me and didn’t see me as a friend at all so maybe I was his blind spot. Maybe I’d be enough of a blindside to make a difference to someone like Nat or Sam. Maybe, just maybe, I could sneak a prank of my own in under his RADAR.

_One wish! What would I do with it?_

At that point I was pretty much thinking of Tony Stark as a red and gold robot version of the Genie in Disney’s Aladdin. Except instead of Robin William’s hilariously fun humour, Tony was giving snarky Stark sarcasm.

_One wish?_

I closed my eyes to the world but the thought still whirled in my head.

_One wish? One prank?_

When the nightmares came they twisted everything. Through sweat and tears I fought my dreams, fought _him_ and everything he endured, until the blackness of deep sleep finally claimed me and only one thought remained.

The Winter Soldier and me, we were just two sides of the same coin. One flip, one man, two faces.


	2. Buried, Not Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky self-reflects, and forms a plan.

I woke with a start, gasping as the tail end of a silent scream emptied my lungs. The power of the words was gone. Only a memory of the feeling remained; a ghost of the horrors I’d endured.

Not all of my dreams were of those ten words, the ones that broke me and remade me into him, but they were often some of the worst. I couldn’t always call them nightmares because they pierced my waking world too – memories of the things I’d done, and had been done to me, under the control of those seemingly innocuous words.

_Words have power, only if you let them_.

It was a thing I told myself. Since Shuri had found a way to free me of HYDRA’s mental conditioning, I no longer had to fear the words – but I did. I would never not fear them and that, in itself, was control.

Swinging my legs out of the bed and planting my feet on the floor, I sighed deeply. The cooling sensation of the wood floor against the heated skin of my feet was bliss. A comfort to help distract me from my state of self-hatred.

I wished I could forget it all but to remember was my penance, my burden, all the faces and final words.

_I remember all of them._

I couldn’t forget what I’d done and the world wouldn’t let me either. Everyone knew who The Winter Soldier was. He was always there on the periphery. When people looked at me they still saw him. They’d never forget even if they could forgive. Every one of The Avengers remembered my alter ego. They’d all suffered at his, my hand; some more than others. When they looked at me, they saw him.

That thought. That one right there. _Him._ He was the thing no one would ever doubt. He was the one thing that no one would think twice about. He would always be a part of me, not matter how far I buried him under the foundations of my new life. The words would always be a threat, would always be a worry, would always be a risk.

I was trying to move on with my life, working through my issues. Therapy helped. Being here with people who cared helped. Doing good, helping Steve and the team save people, and keeping myself busy – _that_ helped.

Everyone here treated me well, like I belonged. They were considerate and never pushed me, but they also didn’t let me fall into depression. Some days were better than others and I’d found myself wanting to fit in more and more, to join in with them, which brings me to April 1st.

Tony’s challenge. The April Fools Day prank. Now I’d had the idea there was no putting it down. It was so simple but incredibly fucked up. I’d always been the wildcard, that variable that people were never quite sure about. It felt a little bit wrong to use that just to play a prank but if anything would slip under the RADAR it was _him_ , me. This could work.

I grinned.

But what would I do with my wish? I’d probably have to beg for forgiveness with it. It’d be worth it to see the pure shock on all of their faces when they all fell for it. If this wasn’t fitting in, I don't know what was.

The shower was cool and refreshing. It felt good to be clean again. Sweat and the dregs of my nightmares flowing down the drain as I relished the sensation of being alive and being myself.

I was fully stuck on this idea of a Winter Soldier April fool, and it would be easy to pull off. All I needed was for everyone to be together in one place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter. I had written a dream sequence that just didn't fit in, so I'm going to post that as a piece on its own.
> 
> Next chapter will have more high jinx and April fools shenanigans.


	3. Tony's Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky bides his time as the rest of the team tries to get one over on Tony. And unexpected danger disrupts the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the pranks and subterfuge - Sam Wilson really is a menace.

The day was certainly eventful from the get-go. Sam had been up earlier than anyone, plotting and laying his traps.

“No one said you could only have one try.” He shrugged when Nat rolled her eyes at the list of ideas he brought to the breakfast table.

The winged menace had locked up all the toilet cubicles within easy reach of Tony’s lab with ‘out of order’ signs and fake occupants; jeans filled with newspaper, balanced on a pair of shoes were to make Tony think the cubicle was in use so he’d go to the next. One toilet had a fake paper roll in it so that when you pulled the paper out to wipe you tugged free a useless piece of cardboard that said ‘April Fools!’ on it.

“He’s never going to fall for that.” Nat said, half annoyed by the amateur skills of The Falcon.

“Fall for what?”

_Speak of the devil and he shall appear._ I thought. Trying not to smirk, I filled my mouth with cheerios.

Tony sauntered into the communal lounge, picking up the cafetière and frowning at its emptiness, he made a fresh batch.

“Nothing.” Sam hid his smirk behind the rim of his glass of apple juice as he drank.

“Oh you mean ‘nothing’ like the fake toilet paper in the only unoccupied bathroom in three floors?” Tony followed Sam’s reaction closely. “I figured you had something to do with it, and I was pretty desperate by the time I got all the way over here from the lab.”

Sam tried so hard to hide his grin, drinking deeper.

“I mean, I _had_ to go _somewhere_.” Tony’s faux innocent was dangerous. “Say, Sam… was your apple juice a little warm this morning?”

Juice sprayed out over me and Nat as Sam choked on the dubious liquid. Gagging noises followed as he rushed to the sink to wash his mouth out.

“Gross.” I grumbled, wiping my face on a napkin.

“That’s cold.” Sam was mortified. “You took a piss in my juice? What’s wrong with you?”

“Heavens no! God forbid.” Tony’s smile was brilliant, shining bright like a beacon of his hilarity. “I had some this morning and left it out on the counter by mistake. I hoped it hadn’t warmed up too much by the time you got up.” He winked and sipped at his fresh made coffee, before turning to leave.

“Motherfucker!” Sam cursed under his breath.

“I told you.” Nat chastised.

“He’s probably got FRIDAY keeping tabs on us all to see if we start doing anything suspicious.” I added to the conversation.

“That’s cheating.” Sam was clearly pissed. “We got to get him now. I’m never gonna look at apple juice the same again.”

After Sam’s first attempt to prank Tony failed, there were a flurry of other attempts. Donuts filled with mayo – Tony wouldn’t accept one but Banner did, and you know what? He didn’t even notice. TP’d his office – cleaner bots tidied it up. Macaroni cheese mix in the OJ jug – Tony never drank it but Rhodey was not amused. Scott shrunk Tony’s Bugatti and stole it but the Iron Legion hunted him down and brought him right back – he didn’t even make it to the front gates. The fake pregnancy test left in Pepper’s waste paper basket almost got him – if it had been any other day than April 1st, Tony would have fallen for it.

“What is this all important wish, that you go to these lengths every year for?” I asked Nat when she flopped down on the sofa next to me with a heavy sigh. It was just us two and I hoped she’d confide in me.

“Wishes don’t come true if you tell them.” She said flatly, her eyes remaining closed.

I could give her hope; tell her that I had a plan. Maybe she’d tell me her wish then I could make it on her behalf.

_No._

The success of this mission relied upon total secrecy. I’d already made my preparations, which were ready to go in a server room at the furthest end of the compound – the one that handled internal atmospherics like air con, winter heating temperature, the humidity in the sauna etc. and the internal music system.

“You know that doesn’t apply here, right? You have to tell Tony your wish to make it come true.”

“And are you Tony?” She teased.

“I do share his love for candy coated snacks.” I winked lightly.

“And you’re about the same age.” She quipped.

I wasn’t sure if that was an affront to me or to Tony. Nat was such a bitch!

“And we both made of metal.” I wiggled my fingers.

“Only his metal is bigger than yours.” She wiggled her eyebrows. Yep, definitely a bitch.

I groaned with a grin. “It always has to go _there_ , doesn’t it.” I chuckled. It felt good t laugh.

“Hey, if that’s what’s on your mind, who am I to argue.” She smirked. “I just meant his suit.”

With that she got up and sauntered off, leaving me alone and scandalised. I was actually going to enjoy the look on her face later on when my plan came to fruition. Part of its success would be attributed to my complete disinterest in the pranks the rest of the team had been attempting. Keeping myself out of that loop, but ever-so-slightly on the side-lines meant that I knew what was going on but no one bothered to look to me for assistance. Perfect.

The book I’d been reading earlier was pulled up in front of my face when the fire alarm went off in the main compound building. Blaring claxons sounded loud all around me, cutting through my concentration. The throbbing sound was so loud that I felt it in my chest cavity.

I groaned. Which idiot had pulled the fire alarm to prank Tony?

Choosing to ignore it, because it was undoubtedly a prank, I tried to focus past the noise and get back to the part where Lyra explains the alethiometer to John Faa.

People were evacuating. I could hear them in the corridors, hurried footfalls and murmurs of panic. It wasn’t a drill but I supposed they didn’t know it was just a prank.

The back of the sofa faced the door, and I was slumped low so no one saw me when they came in to check. Fire safety staff in orange vests, checked each room and declared it clear of people. Three of them checked on separate occasions but none of them saw me.

_We need some new fire safety staff._ I snarked internally.

Honestly, I should have left with everyone else but I’d have just been stood outside twiddling my thumbs until they discovered it was a false alarm and let us all back in.

Suddenly everything was quiet, peaceful, blissful.

“Inertgen fire suppression system active.” FRIDAY’s disembodied voice filled the compound, echoing as the sound reached me from rooms further away. “Dispersion in three… two… one…”

Really? I was on my feet and headed to the rooftop terrace, vaulting the facing sofa as the loud hiss of gas sounded all around me. It was colourless but not odourless, the bitter acrid smell of rubber and something distinctly medical filled my nose and I had to hold my breath as I dashed for the glass door to the terrace. The gas worked by ridding the fire of oxygen, effectively smothering it. It would also suffocate me. I ran faster, lungs aching.

The door was closed but unlocked; all sealed doors were opened automatically in the event of a fire, except the holding cells in the basement. I pushed through, gasping and coughing, I spilled out onto the tiles. Down on the grass by the exterior fence, the several hundred Stark Industry employees and Avengers were gathered, taking a roll call.

I dropped down from the first floor and jogged to meet them. I’d made it maybe twenty metres when a coughing and smoking Dr Banner erupted from one of the side doors of the lab wing, not far from me. Before seeing him I would have swore blind that it had been a prank, probably one of Sam’s. The smoke was very real however, and I changing my course to help him. 

“I got you.” Bruce slumped against me as I half-walked/half-carried him away. It was difficult to believe that this man was the enormous green rage monster I’d seen in copies of historic mission footage.

Bruce nodded gratefully as I hauled him towards the others.

“Good of you to join us.” Nat quipped as she ran to meet us and helped me lower Bruce to the ground.

I knew it was Bruce she was talking to but I replied anyway.

“Thought it was just another prank.” I grumbled. “Didn’t know I was about to get suffocated by FRIDAY’s fire-suppressing farts.”

Nat snorted as she fussed over Bruce. “What happened?” She picked flecks of ash and debris out of his thick curls. “Did you burn the dinner again?” 

“One of my experiments spontaneously combusted.” Bruce blushed bashfully as Nat continued to check him over. The chemistry between them was clear. It was sweet, the way they were both crazy about each other but neither of them would drop their guard first.

“Self-cooking radioactive eggs?” She kidded.

“No, but that’s not a bad idea.” Bruce grinned at her before he remembered that I was there; the third wheel, so to speak.

The fire marshal was talking with Steve, who was gesticulating wildly and trying to push past the uniformed man. What the hell was going on? Other people started to get involved and then there was a frantic flurry of action. Something was wrong.

Looking around, I mentally tallied up the people I would recognise. Nat, Steve, Veronica, Sam, Clint, Wanda, Vision, Bruce, Scott, Rhodey, Thor was away, Peter was at home, Maria Hill, Sharon Carter… I carried on until I’d ran out of names or faces to check off on my mental list. Someone was missing though. Suddenly Nat’s voice broke my concentration.

“Where’s Tony?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is trying to fit in with the team, though it's easier for him with some of them rather than others. His and Nat's friendship is effortless. I dig how easy it is for her to joke about even the most serious of things and I wanted to make her Bucky's fast friend, the one who he's most comfortable with in this part of the series.
> 
> And Tony... I'm never not going to sniff apple juice before I drink it... ever.


	4. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark is a stubborn bastard but a badass nonetheless. Bucky tries to find out about Nat's plans for her next prank in the hopes that it doesn't mess with his plans.

Being a complete diva was something that Tony Stark had perfected. Being a badass was on the list too. Being a stupid and reckless idiot? Also on there. Being the most stubborn fucker I’d ever met? Yeah, he was right up there next to Steve after today.

When the fire alarm had gone off, he assumed as I had; that it was a prank. When the evacuations were taking place, he locked down the lab so it would look like it had already been emptied. When the Inertgen fire suppression system had been engaged, rather than making for the nearest exit (as I had done) he decided he’d stay.

The fire marshals had given the all clear for us to re-enter the building and everything had returned to some semblance of normality. Nat, Steve, Sam, Bruce and I had gone down to Starks lab to find him stood at his workbench in one of his suits, working on the very same tech he’d been working on all day.

“You didn’t think that maybe there was a real fire when the halon system came on?” Steve chided. He was grumpier than usual, fully rocking the hundred year old man mentality. The rest of the team seemed to agree.

“Halon hasn’t been a thing since the nineties.” Tony corrected, tinny and distant from inside his suit. “It’s April fools, how was I supposed to know that _big, green and clumsy_ over there would try to kill us all?” At least he hadn’t lost his humour after all the pranks that had been attempted that day.

“At least he called in.” I decided that Tony needed a friend right now. I might not have been his ideal supporter but I was all he had right now. “He had it covered.” I gestured to the red and gold suit with its in-built breathing apparatus.

“Thank you, Sergeant Barnes.” Stark’s tone was polite but gruff.

I knew he still hated me for the death of his parents, and I didn’t blame him. We both tried to make things as easy as possible but we couldn’t always avoid each other.

“Not helping, Buck.” Steve’s tone was like the ice he’d been in for seventy years.

“Give the guy a break, man.” My tone was like the fire that burned through me for seventy years while HYDRA tortured me and made me their weapon. Steve read that pain in my eyes and backed down, which left Tony Stark as the most stubborn man I knew. Officially.

“As much as this little brady bunch family meeting is cute and all, I really need to get this done before dinner. It’s fajita night, remember. And _I’m_ sourcing the food so none of you can sabotage my gloriously spicy chicken and guac wraps.”

“I think we get the point, Tony. You’re unprankable.” Sam grumbled as we all left. “I ain’t never gonna get that Bugatti now.”

“Never say never.” Nat smirked.

“You’ve got another trick up your sleeve don’t you?” Sam was already reinvested. He was such a child.

“You’ll have to wait and see.” She winked.

There was something about the way that Nat had implied that she had another prank to run, that made me paranoid. If she tried anything at dinner it could ruin my idea, and mine could ruin hers. I had a choice to confer with her, and let her in on my secret, run with my plan and hope hers didn’t clash, or I could ask her if I could help.

Nat looked up at me from where she sat cleaning her guns on Pepper’s fourth favourite table; the thing was practically ruined anyway from when I’d flipped it earlier so a few extra scuffs wouldn’t make a difference.

“You’re lurking.” She flashed me her trademark smirk. Nat had such a sassy aura, everything about her screamed ‘this bitch bites’. “Is there something you need?” 

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” I sat down two chairs over, preferring a little distance despite Nat being as close a friend as any, with the exception of Steve.

“Finally come to finish what we started on that mission in Marrakech?” Her smirk widened, seeing her attempt to make me uncomfortable succeed.

“ _You_ kissed _me_ , if I remember correctly.” Which was true, she had, in the queue for a boat trip where we were undercover to investigate a human trafficking ring. We were almost spotted until she had whispered ‘relax and hold me’ before grabbing my touristy shirt and dragging me down into a deep kiss.

“True. You weren’t exactly responsive.” She chided. “Until I slipped you the tongue.” She winked suggestively.

I admit it had been a surprise and I’d lost myself for a moment in the feel of her lips, not thinking about who she was but just about how it felt. I’d groaned and dragged her body against mine, putting on a show that made everyone around us so awkward they’d looked away. Well, that was the point, wasn’t it? A distraction. 

“Someone wasn’t breathing right for a while afterwards.” I teased her back. She’d been a little dazed when the threat had passed and I’d let her go. “You didn’t get that with Steve.”

I was comfortable in the knowledge that I had no romantic feelings for Natasha Romanoff, and that she had none for me.

“Yeah well someone was a bit more _thorough_ than Steve.” She raised one eyebrow signalling her intent to cease-fire. “What did you need, again?”

The chuckle that left my lips was barely audible but she knew I’d won this round of jibes. “Do you need any help with your prank on Tony?” I spelled it out for her, no dancing around the subject, no subterfuge. “I’d rather help you win your mystery wish than help Sam win a Bugatti.”

“That’s sweet, Barnes, but that’s not necessary.” She shoved the cleaning brush deep into the barrel with extra vigour.

“Does that mean you think you got him this time?” I couldn’t fish too hard or she’d see right through me.

“It means I’m giving up.” Her focus was on her hands but I wasn’t stupid enough to think that the Black Widow couldn’t read me without even looking at my face.

“That’s not like you to give up.” It was too much, and she levelled a narrow-eyed questioning look my way.

“Why are you interested now?” She really could be very intimidating, her reputation as a master spy notwithstanding.

“Dunno.” I shrugged. “I guess I was overcome with a sudden urge to try to fit in. It’s hard for me sometimes to know when I can and when I can’t be part of something. It _is_ Tony, after all. Dead parents and all that.” I gave her honesty, just a more personal one than she might have been expecting. Making people feel awkward or displaying a vulnerability was always a good distraction.

“Maybe next year.” She nodded solemnly and seemed to buy it. I mean, it was the truth, I did feel that way most of the time, and my relationship with Tony could be, uhh, _strained_.

“And you don’t feel like sharing this mysterious wish with me?” My teasing tone was back.

“You know what, Barnes? If you don’t make yourself scarce pretty soon, this brush is going to find its way into a hole you won’t be too pleased about.”

“Alright, alright.” I chuckled as she brandished the grubby wire brush at me like a rapier. “Save the kinky shit for Banner.” I winked as I scrambled and made a dash for the door, knowing fine well that something was headed my way.

The loud clunk and clatter of the canister of gun oil braying off the doorframe near my head made me drop and roll through the doorway and behind the wall.

“You’re losing your knack.” I teased her from my hiding place.

“Fuck off, Barnes!” She hollered in a pseudo ill-tempered growl.

Yep, I was in the clear, Nat had been fooled and I was free to carry on with my prank. I had no reason to think she had lied about her lack of plans, she seemed genuine about calling it quits for this year though that didn’t mean that Sam wasn’t going to try again. His pranks had been too low stakes for Tony to fall for them, but mine, mine would get them all. Every single one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, there'll be no Bucky/Natasha romance - the snippet of back story where they kissed was just a Bucky version of the scene where Nat kisses Steve on the escalator in The Winter Soldier.
> 
> Also regarding Steve's reference to Halon - Think of it like Hoover. People call vacuum cleaners Hoovers despite it being a brand, fridge is another one. Steve uses Halon as if it covers all gas fire suppression systems, and since it's use was exclusively within the time he was on ice, he's likely heard it used by a few of the older Shield agents and picked it up from there. Tony corrects him because he's a grumpy pendant.
> 
> Next chapter - fajita night, and Bucky's plan goes down.


End file.
